English Humour #02

Agyfárasztás 2.0 😀

*

A lion cub is chasing a terrified man round and round the jungle.
The cub’s mother shouts at him: ‘How many times have I told you not to play with your food!?’

*

‘I’ve come about the advertisement for a lion-tamer.’
‘Oh dear, I’ve just given the job to someone else,’ replies the ringmaster, ‘so come back tomorrow.’

*

The phone rings at half past one in the morning.
‘Hello, is that 345907?’
‘No, it’s 345908.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t worry, I had to get up anyway, because the phone was ringing.’

*

Policeman to driver:
‘Don’t you think you should clean your windscreen?’
‘It’s all the same to me,’ replies the driver, ‘I’ve left my glasses at home.’

*

A 17-year-old boy asks a 20-year-old girl to dance.
‘Sorry,’ she replies haughtily. ‘I’m not dancing with a baby.’
‘Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise you were pregnant.’

*

Adam says to God: ‘Why did you make Eve so beautiful?’
God replies: ‘So that you will love her.’
‘But why did you make her so stupid?’
‘So that she will love you.’

*

‘What happened to you?’
‘I broke my arm raking the leaves.’
‘How come?!’
‘I fell out of the tree.’

*

Doctor to patient:
‘How many cigarettes do you smoke a day?’
‘Ten.’
‘Haven’t I told you that you’re only allowed five?’
‘Yes, but the other doctor allowed me five as well.’

*

‘Amazing news, darling! The Department of Tax is closing down!’
‘Don’t talk rubbish, woman!’
‘Really, it’s true! Just look at this letter – it says final demand.’

*

Two planets meet somewhere in the universe.
‘Oh, dear, you don’t look at all well.’
‘I know! I’ve got Homo Sapiens.’
‘Oh, don’t worry. It won’t last very long.’

Vélemény, hozzászólás?

Az email címet nem tesszük közzé. A kötelező mezőket * karakterrel jelöltük